Dinner For One: A New Year’s tradition with a sexy twist.

Germans are creatures of habit; you need look no further than the customs of December 31^st for the perfect example. The bakeries serve berliners* and little else, fireworks are sold (and set off) in terrifying quantities and a quaint British sketch from the 60s is shown on every single public TV station.

It’s Dinner For One.

Freddie Frinton, practically unknown to British audiences, is a household name in Germany. He recorded the story of an old woman celebrating her birthday alone with her butler in front of a German audience in 1963. Since then, this simple story (with a quick introduction in German) has grown into an essential part of the German New Year.

The repetitive catchphrase “Same procedure as every year” typifies most Germans’ approach to the holiday – the same procedure each and every year.

And the sexy twist? Watch it and find out:

*No, it’s not the Germans unleashing their nascent cannibalistic tendencies – a berliner is a jam doughnut. They can have other fillings, but taste awful.

Profile: The NPD

The NPD is the main political party of the German far-right, and – for obvious historical reasons – no other German political party is quite as emotive.

That said, despite the party’s questionable heritage, the NPD is not particularly unusual when compared other European far-right parties. It’s dominated by disaffected men trotting out the greatest hits: nationalism – German jobs for German workers; xenophobia – expel foreigners, particularly asylum seekers; with a sprinkling of heavy-handed socialist policies – pay mothers €1000 per month to stay at home and raise children.

Hang on – haven’t we heard that somewhere else?

Their association with even more extreme groups and individuals has, of course, drawn the attention of the intelligence services – the edging on unaccountable Office for Constitutional Protection. The use of widespread infiltration by paid intelligence officers and informants was intended to keep the party (as well as the whole far-right scene) in check, but instead gave the NPD legal protection; an attempt to ban them a decade ago failed because the Constitutional Court decided too many senior members of the NPD were working for the German state.

As it remains a legal political party, the NPD receives a seven-figure state grant each year – broadly proportional to their share of the vote. This, along with the series of far-right terrorist attacks over the past decade spurred interior ministers from the German states to make a new attempt to ban the NPD.

To remain legal (and receive money), German political parties must conform to and pledge to uphold the constitution – something the NPD claims to do, at least on paper. If the states can prove the opposite, it will be the end of the NPD – until the next far-right party pops up.

Distilling this silliness down:
The NPD is a party democratically elected to state parliaments, funded by German taxpayers and was – to a certain extent – controlled by paid operatives of the German state. And another branch of the German state may now ban it – for being an enemy of the system that pays their bills. Quite a mess.

Family matters

This German government is a lot like a dysfunctional family. They argue, bicker and strop – but are kept together by their Mutti*. Arguments about family are the bitterest.

This week, after months of negotiation and none-too-veiled threats, a ‘Betreuungsgeld’ package was approved this week by the government: a system where families with one stay-at-home parent gets a handout.

This is a pet project of the younger son of the coalition, the CSU. The idea that women (in particular) should be supported by the state while they take care of the children plays well to their conservative Bavarian base. Across the rest of the country, however, a broad alliance of political parties and a majority of Germans oppose the plan – as well as the implicit suggestion that the state should support women who choose to play their traditional roles from the tax paid by those who pursue a career.

The elder son wasn’t having any of it – the FDP wanted something from Mutti if the CSU were having their way. What was their price? €10. This is the fee that all publically insured Germans pay** to see their doctor. They need something to sell to their base: an effective tax cut in response to the multi-billion euro surpluses reported by the state health insurers (despite the charge following a distinctly liberal principle that people who use a service should pay for it).

Angela Merkel, just like a good mother who spends most of her time dealing with bickering children, gave them both what they wanted.  Maybe she should get another €100 per month.

*Germans call Angela Merkel ‘Mutti’. Don’t ask.

**Once per quarter.

Peer Steinbrück: A Profile

The next Chancellor of Germany?

Peer Steinbrück first came to national prominence in 2002, as Prime Minister in the (once) solidly Social Democratic North Rhine Westphalia (NRW) and later as a minister Angela Merkel’s Grand Coalition – Germany’s finance minister as the financial world lurched into its current state of perpetual crisis. Steinbrück is a sometime bellicose man who often speaks his mind, even if it gets him into trouble.

His story started in Hamburg in 1947, the great-great nephew of one of Deutsche Bank’s co-founders. Despite this heritage, few who knew him in his early years would have expected him to be a serious contender for the most powerful office in Germany: he was a spectacularly poor performer at school. On no less than two occasions, he was forced to repeat a year due to poor grades.

He went on to study economics in Kiel, making up for his poor school performance by graduating in just 4 years (German degrees took an age – until recently, it was not unusual for undergraduates to study all the way into their thirties).

28 years later, with a successful career spread across the civil service, the SPD and the cabinet of two German states behind him, he became Prime Minister of North Rhine Westphalia, selected by his party after his predecessor moved onto bigger things.

Steinbrück’s first electoral test could have gone better...

Having closely aligned himself with Gerhard Schroder on the right of the party, he led the SPD in NRW to a bitter defeat – the loss of a social democrat heartland even brought down the federal government. This electoral rout, however, brought Steinbrück firmly onto the national stage: Angela Merkel appointed him as Finance Minister in her CDU/CSU/SPD grand coalition government.

Then the crisis started.

While Germany itself steered clear of much of the economic chaos that beset the rest of the developed world, Steinbrück managed to make an enemy of the normally neutral Swiss. His attacks on banking secrecy and accusations that Switzerland is a tax haven led to a minor diplomatic incident: the German ambassador was summoned to explain Steinbrück’s statements. Closer to home, his comparison of the choice to either remain in opposition to the CDU or share power with left-wing Die Linke in a regional election to ‘Cholera or Plague’ also raised eyebrows within his own party.

He could be considered somewhat accident-prone.

Steinbrück, like the rest of the SPD moved into opposition after the 2009 elections removed Merkel’s reliance on the SPD to govern. He kept up his profile and attacks on big banks – and, once his two main competitors had bowed out, became the SPD’s candidate for chancellor.

Despite having seemingly placated the left wing of his party, his campaign has hardly gotten off on the right foot. Revelations relating to his extra-curricular activities – after dinner speeches for estimated 5 figure sums – will do him no favours in the SPD heartlands.

Despite the missteps, the SPD’s poll numbers have risen to a 6-year high following his coronation as candidate. Time will tell if the German people view this bellicose but passionate man as a real alternative to Merkel’s clam, collected but staid style: there is, after all, a year to go before the next federal elections.

Merkel’s personal numbers are good – but the CDU/CSU is increasingly unloved. If the SPD gains at the expense of the CDU, it will likely be in spite of their leaders.

Germany’s next top minister?

The battle lines are drawn, the gauntlet has been thrown.

The hackneyed phrase generator has gone into overdrive.

The scene has been set for a clash of two of Germany’s political heavyweights (in every sense of the word). In the blue (but mostly black) corner, Angela Merkel, the reigning champion and Chancellor; in the red (with a little bit of green) corner, Peer Steinbrück, the upstart challenger who has already taken down a Chancellor – albeit one from his own side. The bout will take place next year – September or October 2013 – and it promises to be... well, very sensible and German. She’s got the edge in the polls, but a year is a very, very long time in politics.

Stay tuned for the Rumble Near The Rhine.  

Licence to bill

Broadcasting is expensive business. Especially public broadcasting. Particularly in Germany - and that's due in part to the country's dark past. Horrified by the centralised Nazi broadcasting machine, the (West) German government built up a sprawling mass of public broadcasters over 40 years, all paid for by a licence fee on TV, Radio and latterly Internet use. 

Where the UK has the BBC, Germany has tens of organisations: There are 9 regional broadcasters who each run a range of TV and radio channels in their local areas; Germany's channel one (ARD Das Erste), run by a consortium of those regional broadcasters together with Deutsche Welle (the German government's international broadcaster); a national second station (ZDF); 3Sat run by ARD, ZDF, Swiss and Austrian public broadcasters; and finally, a range of satellite stations run by combinations of the above. A system designed to be so complex no single party could control it.

With the exception of the taxpayer-funded Deutsche Welle, all of the above is funded by the licence fee. In 2011, the combined income from licence fees was 7.3 billion euros (nearly twice the BBC's income). Just as in the UK (and perhaps more so) there are plenty of Germans who feel that this does not offer good value for money and refuse to pay - they do not register their devices with the licence collection agency GEZ which, like the UK equivalent, is run by the broadcasters themselves. Also like the UK equivalent, there is not much love lost between ordinary Germans and their TV licence collection agency.

With endemic avoidance and the assumption that all households must have a television, radio or computer (or even a 3G-capable mobile phone), the states approved the GEZ's request to simply charge a licence fee to every single household from 2013.

Of course, there have already been legal challenges - and the broadcasters risk shooting themselves in the foot: people might start questioning why the broadcasters need so much money...

Silly season: German children are rich beyond your wildest dreams

Who says nothing important happens over the summer holidays? A study released today (reported by Spiegel Online) claims German children received €1.85 billion in pocket money last year - €27 per month each, nearly 10% up on the year before.

Lucky them. When I was a lad...

The Germans are not normally the kind of people to give away money they can't afford: this is another example of how Germany's economy has been unaffected and even thrived through the Euro Crisis - at least, up until now. 

Kids, I wouldn't count on being able to afford that new Playstation next year. 


(Photo from 401(K) 2012 on Flickr - CC licence)